"Do you realize that the only time in our lives when
we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than
10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in
fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!"

You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and
a half, going on five!

That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you
back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!"

You could be 13, but hey, you're 'gonna' be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life ... you
become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony ... YOU BECOME
21 ....YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there?

Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to
throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling.

What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you
TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes,
it's all slipping away. You know it; you REACH 50 ... and
your dreams are gone.

But wait, you MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you
would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and
MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!

After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT
Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete
cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

My grandmother won't even buy green bananas! Its an
investment, you know, and maybe a bad one!!

And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start
going backwards; "I was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over
100, you
become a little
kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!

May you all make it (healthily) to 100 and a
half..."

-- George Carlin